Expectations – make or break life an exciting experience.

Expectations – make or break life an exciting experience.

It is natural to have desires & expectations so do not resist or suppress. The result/outcome, many times, completely opposite to what one expects in particular makes one feel let down, creates anxiety & helplessness forcing one to conclude & believe that something is wrong about a particular happening. Expecting life to bring forth the desired in a manner planned with one’s limited intelligence on the actual path to desired reality/experience puts one under pressure.  The exciting experiences in life are temporary and the extra-ordinary expectations keeps one alienated from the reality of life. Expecting constantly in a manner that is pleasing makes one prisoner to the tendency to conclude/assume negatively about the situations but the best attitude a mature mind has is to see everything as a step towards a more positive reality. Staying positive irrespective of your present situation will keep you in alignment with your life force and bring forth the solutions that you desire. Do not cling to any particular result/outcome but trust life’s intelligence to bring forth the most congruent & positive reality that is far better than what you anticipate. It is fine to plan & follow your inspirations, but don’t create any rigid expectations about how your desired reality will manifest. Allow life to surprise you.

Dissatisfaction – support him/her

Dissatisfaction – support him/her

Dissatisfaction affects mood, self esteem and relationships. Our interpretation of other’s action/words as disrespectful pushes us into victimhood/self-pity mode and obstructs free expression of our viewpoint with confidence, humility and dexterity. It is of utmost importance to provide an environment in which one feels safe in personal expression during dialogue/conversation. Be warm to the person, listen & be sensitive to his/her ideas/opinion, empathise with his/her situation, avoid irrational reaction and celebrate his/her talent. Your concern, consideration and empathy shall inculcate in him/her a sense of security and respect. 

Psychological pressures - Take charge of your lives

Psychological pressures - Take charge of your lives

Psychological pressures due to the incessant demands, responsibilities and desires affect ones feeling of wellness, health and joy.  Feel centred and inculcate an intrinsic belief in universal force to keep yourself grounded and relaxed. Stepping away from troubling negative thoughts; observing inner silence for self reflection; Self discipline & control, awareness, letting go of the pent up emotions/feelings via regular exercise and meditation builds resilience to stress. Look after body & mind, eat healthy and sleep well. 

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Dr.Vandana Raghuvanshi..... Counsellor and therapist, India

Be comfortable within yourself and in the environment around you.

Be comfortable within yourself and in the environment around you.

Many a time one is bound to face stressful situations wherein one has absolutely no idea on how to deal with it and the same turns out to be a major concern, if left unattended. The stress and uncertainty dwells and makes one prone to sickness. An individual needs to stick to purpose of life, find ways and means to adapt to these situations. Controlling your thoughts, looking at the situation as a challenge rather than as threat, coming out of victim mode, being optimistic & believing in one’s own strengths, focusing on the change in life required for emotional balance and laughing away the overwhelming situation may help you lessen the stress. Professional help also guides one out the overwhelming stressful situations. Contact m-9872880634    

Anmol Singh- Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Being dominant to gain respect is not advisable.

Fearing someone’s dominance is not necessarily the same as respecting him/her. Expectation of respect is natural to being human. It is normally lack of self-respect in an individual that a person seeks/demands respect from others through dominance, a form of the negative energy of fear, in the relationship. Dominance sometimes turns violent in a subtle way, harming the relationship in a big way. Others giving attention or being in awe of him/her is mistaken for being respected but the truth is it is impossible to give respect, if at the back of mind one fears him/her. The ego, an excessive attachment to one's false image, need to be recognized & no longer nourished instead respect other’s values, specialties, skills, virtues and powers to make him/her fearless, confident and capable of giving genuine respect.

Fear

Fear

Fear is a natural part of being human. Fear can either protect us from harm by motivating us to physically deal with potential danger or keep us from participating fully in life. Fear is our state of mind, we can choose to face our fears, change our minds & create the life we want to live or be scared and get into inaction, a barrier that prevents one from fulfilling one’s full potential. 

The highs & lows, twists & turns of life affect everyone and generate fears that may revolve around physical safety, sickness, living under difficult circumstances, exposure to hazardous conditions, experiencing financial crisis, loss of a loved one, scared of never finding someone special to spend life with, start at a new school, begin a different job, move to a new town, or meet new people.

Fear can be caused by Lack of faith in oneself, Insecurity, Attachments & dependencies,  Mistrust, inability to open oneself,  experiences of the past, habit of seeing situations & people in a negative way, dishonesty.

The situations, activities, & individuals that frighten us remain static and their relative intensity does not change but our fear grows, if we choose not to confront it. Share your fears with others so they do not grow as pent up feelings inside and let go the worries you carry.

Learn to face fears, observe your thoughts, feelings & response but not be ruled by them instead choose to act differently. Move through your fears with patience, courage & confidence to shape the lives as you want. The universe will always offer you some form of aid or support while you walk through your fear taking all the risks.

Contact at one of the Best Counselling Centre in Chandigarh... Contact at 09872880634

Learn to be Mind fullness.. Contact us at 9872880634 in Chandigarh

Words of genuine appreciation motivate children to excel and also do wonders to relationship.

Words of genuine appreciation motivate children to excel and also do wonders to relationship.

Experience of being appreciated is memorable and heightens the zeal to excel. Human mind yearns for recognition and praise. Invariably parents care for their kids but often find it difficult to praise them in public or even in private. The reason behind is a pattern of behaviour learnt while growing up in a family. Their upbringing denied them an opportunity to ingrain the art of appreciation in behaviour as praise has not been in the household’s vocabulary of bringing up a child.  Just unlearn the practice of withholding genuine praise, be specific and promptly praise, at the right time, your kid for his/her achievement worth appreciation. The honest compliment received by the kid makes him/her feel important, generates a warm feeling that brings a natural smile on face and motivates to go the extra mile.      

In relationships also "Words of genuine praise" during conversations do wonders.

Joy – the ultimate purpose of our existence

Joy – the ultimate purpose of our existence

Generally certain level of anxiety creeps in human mind when one weighs/views one’s past/future respectively in terms of desires and hopes. One feels overwhelmed with anxiety resulting in shift of one’s ultimate focus away from true intrinsic goal i.e. happiness or joy.

The initial high of excitement motivates but wears off slowly, think progressively and find new avenues of interest for constant engagement and.  Minimise negativity and keep right attitude and perspective.  

Feel proud of your achievements, be grateful for what you have and be contented, live in the moment, do not analyse much and enjoy the present. Believe in self, maintain high self esteem, focus on better prospects and pursue with positive attitude, perspective, faith and diligence to be in true and natural state of happiness.

Risk suffering from depression.

Risk suffering from depression.

Do you

1.      Observe you are no more interested in activities you once enjoyed?

2.      Having problem with sleep? (Insomnia or oversleep)

3.      Feel having low energy? (Tiredness)

4.      Feel sluggish and agitated? (Anxiety)

5.      Have difficulty in concentrating?

6.  Experience changes in your appetite/ body weight? (Increased craving for food or poor appetite)/(body weight gain/body weight loss)

7.      Feel hopeless & worthless?(Guilty)

8.      Have the frequent thoughts of ending life? (suicide)

It is symptomatic of depression. Immediately consult professional.

Contact: 9872880634

Looking after an elderly patient in family ??

Looking after an elderly patient in family ??

Credit yourself for the immense patience, sacrifices and perseverance exhibited in taking over the responsibility of taking care of elderly patient in the family.  The activity carried out single handed is overwhelming and generates feeling of despair and disappointment leading to depression. One cannot accomplish everything alone hence stay connected with other family members for help when required.   Network with persons in similar situation, share your concerns, seek support and get some tips. Organise systematically the requisite information/documentation related to ailment to enable easy and comfortable retrieval to avoid panic attacks. Take a break when required for much needed rest to recharge yourselves, paying attention to other things in your life including your physical & emotional health.

Never do anything unpleasant to your child.

Never do anything unpleasant to your child.

The unpleasant words spoken and rude behaviour exhibited while interacting with children adversely damages/dents their self worth.   Every child is unique and different hence make no comparisons. Show respect and consideration, be careful do not blame. Human experience makes one forget what good you did to him/her but not how one felt. Careless treatment meted out, comparison between siblings and peers at school hurts the belief of a child and conditions his/her brain to believe in the criticism. Interact setting positive expectations it shall boost their self esteem and hence performance.  

Examination phobia

Examination phobia– it is time for students to beat stress

The fear of approaching examination makes students anxious and builds stress. It adversely affects the preparation and thus academic performance. Lack of completion of syllabus, apprehension about retention and non clarity of concepts are some of the factors that make the student pessimistic about his/her success and thus affects results.

Students must identify the factors of his/her fear, seek guidance of parents, teachers, professional & friends to allay the fear and overcome the problem to gain confidence. Assess your capabilities, resources and be practical in determining your own goal instead of comparing with friends. Plan your study hours and stick to preparation schedule, work hard, put in sincere efforts to go thoroughly through the syllabus.

Do not panic, lose patience and get frustrated, calm your mind, be firm & believe in your strength, remain motivated, the thoughts of rejection must never cross your mind.      

A resolute mind – need of the hour

A resolute mind – need of the hour

The failure of one’s best intentions to better life must not deter him/her from sticking to the chosen path for real life changes. Promise yourself little at a time; narrow down on specifics of the desired change, work on things under your control, keep constant watch on progress & reward yourself at every goal achieved, remain motivated, be truthful, admit shortcomings in your efforts and seek help of support group/professional to remain on track for positive change.