Trust Issues? - No one can live without trust.

Trust Issues?   - No one can live without trust.

Personal negative & damaging experiences in childhood or even adolescence that leave deep scars affects the belief system and contributes to an adult developing lack of trust. Parents’ actions and behavior perceived to be hypocritical, witnessing extreme bouts of anger or rage, betrayal of trust such as child abuse, sense of insecurity significantly reduces the ability to accurately judge the trustworthiness of others. One suffers from limiting thoughts like “I’ll only get hurt again” / “Everyone is out to get me”. Past experiences, fears, and a desire to protect self from any further pain or disappointment, forces one to build social barriers as a defense mechanism to ensure their future emotional protection. Confusion as regards prevailing uncertainty, double standards experienced, breakups, divorce, and unstable family enhances the distrust further.

Distrusting the people damages close relationships who start to feel like they are not good enough or can never do the right thing resulting in their resentment and broken relationships. Technology also plays a big part in generating trust issues among couples. Cell phones, text messages and social media helps a disloyal partner turns deceptive and gets away with it for longer periods of time thus making it difficult to live fulfilling life.

Acknowledge the mistrust issue affecting yourself, an honest admission serves as the positive beginning needed to re-establish trust in others. Open up yourself and spend time with someone like a friend or a family member or a professional who genuinely wants what is best for you and begin to trust their judgment. Learn and develop the ability to trust through sharing experience with others who are going through similar situations. A qualified mental health professional can help in both understanding where the trust issues come from and providing effective ways to develop trust.

Falling in love and Breakup

Falling in love and Breakup

In the prime of life we meet and interact with many persons but strike an instant unexplained liking for & connection with the person. This emotional chord is falling in love.  The ensuing dialogue provides an opportunity to understand the way this person thinks, acts & lives. It also gives an understanding of self. This person preoccupies your thoughts, mind, texts & photographs are exchanged, together do things that interests & brings enjoyment, make compromises, commits emotionally. And then this heartbreak & rough breakup occurs. It hurts but moving on in life is very important. Take a road to recovery as soon as possible. Don’t get trapped in whys? & How? of it. Accept any explanation that fits the fact and keep your self esteem intact. It could be unwillingness to commit, emotional drift or societal pressures. Do not follow the person on social media to deny ex’s presence in your thoughts, list compromises you made not to repeat in future, keep doing things that interest you and brings joy, remove the texts & photographs from social network to erase the reminders of relationship and reach out to friends and make the most of their support. The peculiarities of life must be handled in a way to lead a qualitative life. Move on. Life is precious, do not let it sway.

there are 4 hormones which determine a human's happiness - 1. Endorphins, 2. Dopamine, 3. Serotonin, and 4. Oxytocin. It is important we understand these hormones,as we need all four of them to stay happy. Let's look at the 1st hormone the Endorphins. When we exercise, the body releases Endorphins. This hormone helps the body cope with the pain of exercising. We then enjoy exercising because these Endorphins will make us happy. Laughter is another good way of generating Endorphins. We need to spend 30 minutes exercising every day, read or watch funny stuff to get our day's dose of Endorphins. The 2nd hormone is Dopamine. In our journey of life, we accomplish many little & big tasks, it releases various levels of Dopamine. When we get appreciated for our work at the office or at home, we feel accomplished & good, that is because it releases Dopamine. This also explains why most housewives are unhappy since they rarely get acknowledged or appreciated for their work. Once, we join work, we buy a car, a house, the latest gadgets, a new house so forth. In each instance, it releases Dopamine and we become happy. Now, do we realize why we become happy when we shop? The 3rd hormone Serotonin is released when we act in a way that benefits others. When we transcend ourselves and give back to others or to nature or to the society, it releases Serotonin. Even, providing useful information on the internet like writing information blogs, answering peoples questions on Quora or Facebook groups will generate Serotonin.

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Fear is a natural part of being human. Fear can either protect us from harm by motivating us to physically deal with potential danger or keep us from participating fully in life. Fear is our state of mind, we can choose to face our fears, change our minds & create the life we want to live or be scared and get into inaction, a barrier that prevents one from fulfilling one’s full potential. The highs & lows, twists & turns of life affect everyone and generate fears that may revolve around physical safety, sickness, living under difficult circumstances, exposure to hazardous conditions, experiencing financial crisis, loss of a loved one, scared of never finding someone special to spend life with, start at a new school, begin a different job, move to a new town, or meet new people. Fear can be caused by Lack of faith in oneself, Insecurity, Attachments & dependencies, Mistrust, inability to open oneself, experiences of the past, habit of seeing situations & people in a negative way, dishonesty. The situations, activities, & individuals that frighten us remain static and their relative intensity does not change but our fear grows, if we choose not to confront it. Share your fears with others so they do not grow as pent up feelings inside and let go the worries you carry. Learn to face fears, observe your thoughts, feelings & response but not be ruled by them instead choose to act differently. Move through your fears with patience, courage & confidence to shape the lives as you want. The universe will always offer you some form of aid or support while you walk through your fear taking all the risks.

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