Anger & frustration in the face of frequent disappointments pulls one down. Express freely and do not allow bottling up of feelings and emotions. It disturbs one’s peace of mind and happiness. Remain calm & composed in your moments of struggle, count your blessings and appreciate associated stress free moments to maintain mental health.  

 

A child is present wherever he/she happens to be right now and doesn’t think much about the past or future. Fully embracing & living in the present moment is the very essence of his/her joy and happiness. Difficult & challenging times in life are inevitable but are temporary. Develop a true appreciation of the present, fully engage with it and treasure the precious experiences to become wiser.

 

Provocative & contrary dialogue ends up in arguments. The feeling of being taken for granted to conform to expectations makes a child resentful. Fear of scrutiny, comparison, criticism & rejection always dictates the response. Displeasure & frustration expressed in the form of anger to dissuade children makes them feel helpless and takes away the intent to listen and speak without fear about their anxieties. A belief something intrinsically wrong with them, they are unworthy and do not deserve patient hearing destroys their uniqueness & inspiration to learn to sustain themselves in challenging times.

 

Attachment means possessiveness which creates bondage. There is always a fear. One is continuously afraid, anxious & worried. The moment you possess somebody, you are exploiting other’s freedom which anyone will resist. It doesn't allow the friendship to grow & is utterly destructive. Love is beautiful only when there is no attachment to it and creates a space most precious phenomenon in existence.

Acute awareness of one’s vulnerabilities creates deep anxiety & anger.  It is therefore one must think of the present rather than dwell in the past. Compromises, hard work put in, challenges faced, disappointments experienced in the journey so far helps one gain unique perspective about life and come out of comfort zone.

Peer pressure, comparisons, over-reaction, aggression, impulsive attitude, indecisiveness & negative comments brings in turbulence that affects one’s peace of mind.  Being grateful for what one has in life, self-acceptance, respect for others, controlling anger, focus on plus side and making an opinion with full awareness & proper knowledge of the conflicts helps one maintain calm composure & peace of mind.

 

 

The child consciously or unconsciously gets busy with smart phone while sitting with friends, peers or family at dining time and does not pay attention to face-to-face interaction. It generally is categorized as addiction but this may be the anxiety & depression, mental health issue of the child, which makes the child to develop & exhibit aloofness. A childhood, witness to abuse & frequent family violence, is prone to trigger mental distress such as anger, anxiety & depression.

 

Fear of being judged by people around holds one back from accepting own imperfections & making amendment required in one’s behavior. Constant provocation, even an insignificant comment when one is feeling low, makes one lose cool and exhibit rude behavior.  Self-love teaches one to learn and move ahead making choices of one’s own liking without bothering much about external environment to find peace & happiness.    

Breaking trust is traumatic and is an impediment to a healthy, fulfilling and guilt free relationship. Animosity, jealousy, squabbling, feeling of insecurity & unkindness affects the bonding and creates chaos in life which is damaging both mentally and emotionally. Acknowledgement rather than getting angry & rebelling at the genuine concern shown by dominating other is a better choice.

 

The resentment & bitter feeling towards an individual carried in mind because of his/her misdemeanor eats you up. Like we purge our workspace periodically for cleanliness & freshness, our mind also requires periodic purging of bad memories that disturb & affect our mental peace. Rid the mind of hatred, the negativity affecting your calmness & peaceful composure.

 

Interpersonal conflict escalates into violence because of lack of trust and resorting to dominate each other. Unconditional love is the key to developing companionship both in joy and sorrow.

 

Move away from the victim mentality & into empowerment via willingness to change accompanied by readiness. Having a vision for future is inspiring & exciting but be aware when thoughts about the future start distracting from embracing vulnerability & participation in the present moment. Do not hesitate to commit fully to present because conditions are not perfect. Our emotions, thoughts, beliefs & perceptions influence our life & health.

 

Being ambitious, competitive and achievement oriented is normal but being fully aware of the impact, of intense pain & insecurity associated with sense of loss, on one’s fragile graceful existence is a must. Life lived in fear, with anger & stress rather than calmness & tranquility deserves reflection & redefining to make it meaningful. Do not nurture inflated ego; live this very moment with love & humility, creatively & happily; there is no tomorrow for happiness. Tomorrow is uncertain no one can predict it.      

 

Delineate & liberate self from anger & animosity, learn from mistakes to rekindle connect in the relationship. An individual always remembers how one has been treated. Immense amount of Love, respect & consideration for one another is the way forward to endure the pain and evolve as good lovable human beings.

 

Experiencing a lot of challenges & struggle in life, one may land up in developing a defeatist attitude, a feeling of victimhood and judging variety of situations as unfair. One needs to simply observe and be aware of the thoughts, internal & external reactions to things that happen, chronic behavior, word choice, self-talk & emotional state. Gather a clearer & more comprehensive understanding of how it impacts life. Our habitual behaviors & responses are in tune with our powerful belief system created based on feelings & thoughts generated due to things that we saw, heard or experienced in life. Consciously choose to respond differently to liberate self from your belief system. Generally we have a sense of what we want to hear that makes receiving guidance difficult but one of the most important qualities we need to receive guidance is an open mind.

 

Let go of feelings of anger or uncertainty regarding your experience to emotionally lay to rest the issue which is weighing you down. Reliving old memories to the point of frustration hampers all your sincere efforts to disassociate with past & find resolution. You are left to grieve instead of releasing the experience so you can move forward. The significance of the event lies in an understanding of what has happened, lessons derived from the experience that serves to quiet the mind even when questions have been left unanswered & helps acknowledge that a change has taken place. Consciously accept, honor & appreciate what has taken place. You have done best what was needed, are wiser & ready for whatever life wants to bring you next in new phase of life.

Anmol Singh Thakur Psychologist Chandigarh