Acknowledge trauma & pain inflicted by the past wrong doings committed and tender sincere apology & express genuine remorse, remedy for the rapprochement and healing of festering wounds to enhance trust quotient. It may not completely erase past memories yet provides a means to rationalize the process of forgiveness, redress injustice done and closure of past wrong doing. Rejuvenation excursions help one work on body and mind to beat the loneliness in the period engulfed in gross negativity & uncertainty.

 

Forgetting negative experiences and forgiving other’s mistake, that made you endure inexplicable pain & sufferings, helps one win over the revengeful behavior that keeps negativity alive & steals one’s peace of mind. An attitude of gratefulness towards others instills compassion, the elixir of peaceful existence, irrespective of their misdeeds. Hope, faith, strength and not panic brings any complex situation under control. Universal truth is “Nothing is permanent, change is evident”.   

Apologizing chronically can be a sign that you are not feeling that you have much self worth. Many people suffer with the tendency to apologize all the time, chronically, for everything. On the one hand, apologizing is a social convention that keeps interactions between people polite & in that way it can be very helpful. On the other hand, if we find ourselves apologizing for everything, it might be time to look at why we feel compelled to say “I’m sorry” so often. Ultimately, saying you’re sorry is saying that you are responsible for something that has gone wrong in the situation. Whether it’s negotiating a parking spot, moving through the aisles of the supermarket, or reaching for what you want, there are times when sorry is the right thing to say. But there are other times when “excuse me” is more accurate. Sometimes saying you’re sorry is like saying that the other person in the equation has more of a right to be here than you do. Of course, it’s true that using the word sorry can simply be an innocuous way of defusing tension. However, if you find that you say sorry all the time, you might want to look a little deeper & see where in your psyche that might be coming from. If it’s a pattern, breaking it may simply take some awareness & practice. The first step is observing yourself each time you say it, without being hard on yourself about it. Throughout your day simply notice when you apologize. At first, you might be surprised to see that you do it even more than you first realized. After a day or two of simply observing, try to tune in to what it is you are feeling right before you say it. You might be feeling threatened, embarrassed, intensely anxious, or a variety of other feelings. Over time, try to stop yourself before the words come out & just be with the feeling that’s there. You may recognize it as one from your childhood, one that’s been with you for a long time. The more you are able to see it, the freer you will be not to be sorry all the time

 

 

Trust is a hope that allows a person to be vulnerable with a professional without any fear of judgment. One feels safe to freely & respectfully communicate. Look back and introspect whether it is one off an incident or a regular occurrence which has affected you. If in case whatever transpired is an absolute non-negotiable for you, it is very difficult to fix, but if you are willing to put in sincere efforts to work around, talk about it, express and confront your feelings, it might help to overcome that disrupted the dynamics of life journey.      

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Complexity of life can at times turn an aspiring, calm, composed, sensible, full of hope individual into an emotional wreck with totally shattered self-confidence when forced to lose prime time facing broken dreams. Carve a niche for self by challenging the acquired beliefs & faiths as you grew. Courage of conviction makes one question & defy laid down societal conventions that affect happiness.

Experiencing hot & cold behavior of a person affects adversely. Having attention now and the next moment disdain of a person close to you, it drives you crazy having repeated thoughts thus destroying mental peace completely. One is tricked into thinking “why” and a sense of distress engulfs mental peace. Have direct conversation with the person instead of assuming things and jumping to conclusions. Rather than investing too much time in anyone seeking validation shift focus to your creative pursuits which ensures that you maintain emotional balance and it helps build confidence & self esteem.    

 

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Feeling ignored without a cause induces a feeling of uncertainty that inflicts discomfort and a sense of emotional pain which shatters the person. The individual with poor communication & problem solving skills and passive personality traits instead of confronting the issue often resorts to shutting off self in own cocoon exhibiting symptoms of minor depression & anxiety. Running away from the problems and going silent might seem a quick & easy solution but it is nothing but devastating option. It disrupts the peace of mind of everyone around such an individual and takes a toll on their emotions also.  Be alarmed and speak to a psychologist.

Knowing perfect love – extended courtship lets one take care to get what one likes rather than end up liking what one gets in relationship. Disparate upbringing of partners makes one scrutinize other’s every spoken word & response to situations, learn & unlearn life skills to handle situations. Relationship is all about understanding what irritates one’s partner. We learn that certain situations do not merit reaction, one’s silence is better than meaningless words. Egotistic power – the power to dominate and control other to establish one’s superiority makes you disregard other’s opinion and has adverse consequences. The temptation to nurture one’s inflated ego through self promotion and urge to prove self as special does not let one see the uniqueness of other & appreciate the diverse articulation.     

 

Question: What do you mean by love? Jiddu Krishnamurti: We are going to discover by understanding what love is not, because, as love is the unknown, we must come to it by discarding the known. The unknown cannot be discovered by a mind that is full of the known. What we are going to do is to find out the values of the known, look at the known, and when that is looked at purely, without condemnation, the mind becomes free from the known; then we shall know what love is. So, we must approach love negatively, not positively. What is love with most of us? When we say we love somebody, what do we mean? We mean we possess that person. From that possession arises jealousy, because if I lose him or her what happens? I feel empty, lost; therefore I legalize possession; I hold him or her. From holding, possessing that person, there is jealousy, there is fear and all the innumerable conflicts that arise from possession. Surely such possession is not love, is it?

 

#Stress! We meet it regularly, it's time to turn out stress in a positive way. Get set for "Regaining Connectivity, Certainty and Control" #Stress Awareness Month #Stress Management