To the mind it seems as if life brings forth situations that require one to take decisions & choose between one path or the other. A lot of people complain about their inability to take quick decisions & their tendency to make senseless, or wrong, decisions. Here are a few pointers on how to resolve indecisions of your mind in a manner that brings in the deeper wisdom of your wholeness.

Build, develop and maintain self confidence for self acceptance. Over Indulgence in self talk, negative talk or cribbing indicates lowering of self confidence.  Talk to loved ones/close ones, evaluate life experiences & own capabilities impartially, freely express feelings and vent out pent-up emotions to unburden the feeling of helplessness & hopelessness and stop self from taking the path of self abuse & destruction. 

Fragile relationship Meaningful personalised engagement via deep & substantive conversations rather than superfluous talk builds deep bonds, a prerequisite for a happier relationship. Confidence and content in purposeful polite conversation helps know & truly understand each other & establish a deeper connect for a rewarding relationship. On the other hand complicated relationship generates stressful, emotional & mentally exhausting problems and turns into a constant struggle to let go of distasteful things. Emotional management i.e. identifying what is spoiling the relationship, confronting the situation/person and candid discussion to resolve issues quickly is the need of the hour. Bitterness or grudges in a fragile relationship do not affect the recipient as much as they affect the one harbouring them. Letting go of the pain, anger & guilt felt towards this relationship and allowing feelings of love, joy and acceptance by detaching from past issues is a must. Forgiveness is one of the most powerful gifts one can give each other in most fragile relationship.

Escape thoughts driving to self-inflicting wounds;

Escape thoughts driving to self-inflicting wounds;  

Any stress causing incident can generate a sense of dejection which at times can force even an ambitious person turn into a recluse choosing loneliness, isolation & staying indoors in search of sense of calm. The misery, sense of despair & worthlessness is so overwhelming that the individual starts thinking a lot recollecting painful memories of the past and is overpowered by thoughts driving him/her to opt for self-inflicting wounds. A strong social support & physical activity/sport helps the individual escape such thoughts. Resilience and mindfulness is what helps an individual fight & win over such thoughts with courage & hope, seek professional help.       

Accept the reality and respond with kindness. To breakup is difficult yet one must stay away from negativity to protect one’s sanity and insulate self from getting into depression.

Life journey in today’s cut throat competition in the face of rejections at times compels one to grapple with insecurities and uncertainties for survival. The sense of Injustice builds up anger. Negotiating the uncertainties of life requires balancing between personal & professional life. Insecurity associated and felt in the lonely & personal journey demands keeping one’s communication channels remain open.

Each one of us while growing up develops an individualistic perspective and belief about the right way to live life. It makes one struggle silently in order to comply with this belief. It is when this struggle becomes too much to live with that the individual starts thinking that something is inherently wrong with him/her leading to depression/ or anxiety. Despite the achievement of social success, social acceptance & security, as envisaged, one still feels worthless because he/she never indulged in doing things that he/she valued.  The feeling of failure and unworthiness can be nipped in the bud if individuals are accepted the way they are and encouraged to use their own skills & abilities to find solution.         

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Resistance to the troublesome issues in hand stops one from understanding and learning about it. Ignorance, avoidance and running away does not help in getting rid of the issue instead it haunts repeatedly as what one resists, it persists. People, events, and issues that we fear and dislike, appear to be beyond our control and are the manifestations of our non-receptivity. The courageous inner self helps one to surrender and begin the process of opening up to what we fear.

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Indulgence in blame game & fault finding is being judgemental that leads one to loneliness. Conversation (sharing and listening), instead of isolation, is the best way to fight back and mitigate the pain. Fight back involves struggle to keep afloat and survive, take professional help.

Not happy in life despite blessed with the best of everything in life. Do not understand the real cause of unhappiness. Just give this a try to stay happy and well prepared to deal with your problems and challenges in life.

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Pause, reflect and make right choices

Each and every individual is a unique character with altogether different attitude & beliefs that define his/her thoughts, words and acts. The endless desires force one to make poor choices at times which in the absence of self regulation results in destructive behaviour. The negative life experiences & one’s unawareness holds back an individual from embracing something new and unfamiliar with open mind thus restricting his/her evolvement & development of a perspective that brings in harmony between what one thinks, says and does. The energy & vibrations of one’s thoughts when tuned in to that of universe rejuvenates the mind. Question yourself how to make right choices to live in peace and harmony. A balanced person loves self, is empathetic, caring and compassionate so be yourself; love yourself.

Someone very close/loved one is feeling low or stressed, talk to him/her to facilitate free expression of feelings and venting out pent-up emotions in order to help him/her lighten the burden. Speak about life experiences and his/her capabilities. Listen patiently, do not judge, express genuine concern, provide emotional support with empathy & understanding to help cope in a better way with his/her feeling of helplessness & hopelessness. Encourage the person to seek timely professional help for a healthy and happy future.

Not happy in life despite blessed with the best of everything in life. Do not understand the real cause of unhappiness. Just give this a try to stay happy.

Hormones: that enhances human happiness.

1.       Dopamine: The habit of acknowledging, appreciating & rewarding self for each and every small/big achievement helps release of Dopamine & makes one feel good and happy.

2.       Oxytocin: The hugging, holding of hands or putting arms around shoulders of each other releases another happiness enhancing hormone named Oxytocin.

3.       Endorphins: Exercise makes the body release Endorphins to help it cope with the pain of exercising and soon we start enjoying exercise. Exercise for at least half an hour daily is a must for release of endorphins.  

Laughter generated while reading funny stuff or watching comedy is another way to get our day's dose of Endorphins.

4.       Serotonin: The act of sharing, being nice human being and action for the benefit of other human beings/society/nature releases serotonin (another hormone) that determines human happiness.

Not happy in life despite blessed with the best of everything in life. Do not understand the real cause of unhappiness. Just give this a try to stay happy and well prepared to deal with your problems and challenges in life.

DON'T QUIT

DON'T QUIT

All this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing your roots.  Take a clear look at the life you are living. Each and every experience whether positive or negative, has led you to the perspective & spot you are at right now.  Always honor the experience, no matter what. Do not dismiss it as an error or mistake and spend your time trying to undo what you have already done. Rather, change what you are going to do before you do it. Take the responsibility for living your own life. Listen to your inner guidance & focus your thoughts on the goals that resonate the most strongly within you. Do not compare yourself with others. You have a different purpose than others. Determine what is most important to you to live an evolving life. Never Give up. Staying focused and engaged fully in the present moment allows us move with the rhythmic flow of the universe. Take pride in rising as high as you can. 

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Frustration There are two things in life that we can never change; the past and other people/situation. Frustration is a sign of failure & every time that we fail in getting what we want our self-esteem & self-confidence are reduced. Frustration is a form of fear or anger, emotions that arise inside us, distract us & even blind us. The negative emotions makes one lose control & dictates one’s response. The expectations (disguised desires) generates a conflict, we feel victimized and blame others/situation for our unhappiness and loose our sense of well-being. Our negative perception, attitude & behavior to change, influence & control others/situation is responsible for the mental & emotional pain. Accept & embrace the ideal & the not-so-ideal, without conditions, to create an energetic shift. In times of struggle & hardships, channelize your anger, remain calm, explore and work harder to realise your dreams. Self appreciation of one’s positive traits develops faith & trust in one’s sincere efforts and boosts morale. Encouragement clubbed with compassionate genuine criticism aimed at mending approach to life and improvement does appeal to one’s ego and sense of worth.

Forgiving is not forgetting. Memories of events like physical abuse, public humiliation, violence, coercive actions etc. experienced at the hands of others at some point of time in life triggers emotional hurts. The anger & grudge so generated and carried makes one simmer with bitterness generating unwarranted stress that proves toxic for the mental health. The maturity lies in forgiving others for their uncouth (unmannerly) behaviour to maintain psychological stability and composure. Forgiving is not forgetting but letting go of the resentment and revengeful attitude. Forgiveness is not weakness but encompassing love & compassion over negative emotions for those who have hurt you irrespective of their attitudes. Manage your stress for a inner sense of peace, happy & healthy life. Practicing meditation, utterance of mantras, breathing exercises, listening to music regularly are some of the ways to release unnecessary tensions, de-stress & calm one’s agitated mind. Professional counselling helps in healing the wounds of the past events.

The human preferences, the likes or dislikes, desiring for better conditions paves the way for new perspectives & improvement in life. The function of mind is to judge and make choices but when it is personalized to judge self and identified with, the individual ends up feeling confused & self-critical thus the suffering from mental disorders. Pre-occupation and obsession with thoughts of fear/negativity terrifies & develops into phobia. The ensuing discomfort, pressure & desperation makes one try to get back to comfort zone at any cost… including sacrificing long-term health, happiness & success. Mental disorders like depression & anxiety must not be more embarrassing than any other ailment. Identify, accept, admit and talk about the issue with support group/Psychologists/Counselors. Reinvent self, think more clearly, have positive outlook, let go the negativity, express your uniqueness through your desires/preferences & get your lives back on track. Living in the moment truly makes one live.