Healthy conversation…..

Healthy conversation…..

The dialogue punctuated with impatience, accusation, blame & arrogance always embarrasses & puts the other person in a defensive mode thus derailing the conversation from its meaningful direction. An engaged interaction, expressive of intent and willingness to listen, builds trust & lets the other express his/her feelings/thoughts/vulnerability fluently and clearly. One must always listen attentively, acknowledge, understand & appreciate other’s perspective/opinion, not judge but feel his/her pain and focus on desired/constructive behavioural change/correction.

To be at peace….

To be at peace….

A decision in life must always be taken after giving it sufficient time and thought. The responsibility of the repercussions of the decision taken under the influence of others and under sheer desperation solely lies with you. One must have a clear intent, stay focused on one’s goal, come out of comfort zone and not afraid of taking risk, excited to be constantly in action & drive mode, be in love with self & align with the flow of life to be at peace.     

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A happy self….

A happy self….

A sensitive person can feel every situation and it impacts his/her response to a situation. Be grateful for the love you receive and nourish close relationships giving extra time to understand and care. Being honest, very open about what you like or dislike, inspired & motivated to involve and channelize the energy to effect a change in self that you cherish for betterment is the key to being a happy self.

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Acceptance does not mean everything is perfect, it means our state of mind is perfect. Acceptance does not mean to let things be the way they are, it means keeping our mind stable & working on the situation. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to start working towards the solution. We need to accept our own self along with our mistakes or difficult sanskars first, & only then focus on corrections. Else we go into guilt & regret which deplete soul power. Acceptance moves us towards transformation. It allows us to be free from the shackles of denial and move forward creating a new path.

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Facing a stressful situation – whether related to relationship or workplace 

Exposure to a stressful situation whether related to relationship or workplace is inevitable. A simple example; one barges uninvited into your quiet conversation/debate and creates a distracting ruckus that derails the seriousness is not uncommon and avoidable. The situation is not always in one’s control but the way of handling it is in one’s control. One himself / herself is responsible for the upsets due to offsets triggered due to the uninvited interruptions in the recurring patterns of our thoughts.  Accept & assess the situation, address it by handling such an upsetting situation via comfortable adaptation to it for effecting a change in certain aspects of the situation and gain an emotional comfort. Take it as a challenge rather than as a threat; deal with an attitude of ease and calm to remain focused on your agenda. 

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Think before you speak.

In case heading towards an awkward conversation respond carefully and wisely. The disruptive and destructive attitude spoils the relationships. Suppress your own feelings, make an excuse and slip out or get away from the conversation at that moment. Do not judge on one time basis, evaluate and if regular affair make a sincere effort, talk/discuss/express emotions later without being emotionally reactive before situation gets out of hand. The insecurity in us makes us defensive and reactive rather than accepting other’s view point and being receptive to the criticism with dignity. Listen, acknowledge, appreciate, pause, introspect without prejudice and speak courteously, friendly, politely clearly and firmly devoid of hurt, blame and accusations.        

Anmol Singh Psychologist in Chandigarh

Today’s fast paced competitive environment burdens an individual with multi-faceted responsibilities. The experience makes the person develop a point of view, opinions, fear of rejection, complaints, anger, distraction leading to his/her drift away from being connected. They need to be talked to and heard with respect, consideration, understanding of their point of view without letting the conversation getting argumentative.  A counselor makes a sincere effort to know what is going on in his/her life, feelings that are bothering reassuring the person of being understood of their point of view via patient listening with attention, appreciation and acknowledgement of their opinions helping the individual open up. Regular counselling sessions helps an individual live a balanced life.

Neither a Winner nor a Loser - an emotional reality

Neither a Winner nor a Loser - an emotional reality

One’s own insecurities & vulnerability, overshadowing of one’s aspirations due to other’s ambitions, the discomfort in recognizing what one likes about the other and the anguish due to hurtful things told makes it difficult for a young mind to see other’s side in an argument. The confusion and pain one experiences during his/her struggle to adapt in order to keep relationship afloat is very strong.

Counselling & Therapy helps …

Counselling & Therapy helps …

Some beliefs develop due to repressed memories and emotions that are inaccessible to one’s conscious awareness and are too painful. These repressed memories & emotions may exhibit as physical symptoms of unexplained origin due to perceived trauma or personality vulnerability. Counselling & Therapy helps person to release pent up emotions & deal with internal conflict.  

Take a break….

Take a break….

Life has a plan the universe helps execute the same provided one is ready. One’s efforts to rejuvenate & rediscover self provides mixed bag of experiences & feelings that helps one know what exactly one wants and values. An individual starts enjoying one’s own company and it brings a change from within to motivate one to introspect, prioritize & challenge self towards execution of his/her goals. One’s goals must be determined realistically on the basis of its emotional value duly realizing & weighing the repercussions and resources available at one’s command.

Anmol Singh – Life Coach, Chandigarh

Anmol Singh – Life Coach, Chandigarh

Commitment to one’s behavioural change replacing old habit pattern with new one must be respected & honoured to the fullest duly visualizing the positive impact it will have on life and relationships. Relapse back to old habits is inevitable in case one does not work consistently on a well planned laid out routine to form new habit.  Respect and consideration of one’s need for self improvement reinforces one’s assertive efforts to be receptive to constructive feedback without getting entrapped in egotistical self importance. One must aim at being problem solver, rapport builder, empathetic to others and remain optimistic even in the face of adverse conditions.